wondering....

i've been wondering for the past couple of days. what was it that screwed it up? was it just not the right timing? i don't know. i always believed that faith put two people together. so if we met in the wrong place during the wrong time, then why did something so magical happen?

deep in my mind, i can't help but wonder - was it someone else? i've never visited your work place, i never truly got to know your place of work or who you hanged out with after you got your new job. yet i trusted you when you said "no". but now my mind is in a wondering type of mode and it just makes me think like that.

i wondered if i could have done something different. if so, what? i never truly knew what was on your mind, i always wanted to know because if i don't know, how can i help you?

sometimes i wondered, why don't you talk to me about what you think? the reply all the time was "i don't know". and i always wondered why? why is it that those are always your words of response to my questions?

3 years, yet we've never been that 'together' out of those 3 years. yet, we were close. at least i felt that way about you. i felt that i knew you and that i knew how it was going to be and how i was going to bring something to your life. yet, i didn't except that. i was wrong in the end. maybe i always were?

a friend raised the question - what it the right thing for you to do? i wonder and ponder that question all day and night now. i wonder if it was the right thing to do. if i had just kept my mouth shut, pretended that the discussion was over before the ride home, things would have been the way that it was.

calling you after work, talking to you on the phone, making fun of you and you make fun of me. stupid jokes, funny jokes, unfunny jokes.... it would have been the same and like old times. hanging out with you. a movie with you. dinner and lunch with you. it would have been the same. so was it the right decision? did i make the right choice that day, in the cool sunny field.

i will always be wondering....

good time and bad days

to that person -

first of all i just want to say that for the past 3 years or so, you have been my world. i really cared about you and your life. i wanted to be the person that made you smile and the person that you can talk to when times are tough and rough. i guess those days are over. today was one of the happiest and sadist days of my life, because today was the day that i got to hang out with you and it was also the day that we laugh, cried, and got mad and angry at each other.

i never knew what you had on your mind and i know that sometimes, you felt some pressure from me. and for that i'm truly sorry. sorry to have you feel that way and sorry that i should have known better.

i just want to say that for the 3 years that we've been together, it was a blast, it was fun, it was surreal. i wish today never happened, but i also wished today had happen because it was the only way for the two of us to move on with our lives.

i just want to let you know that in my heart, there is a place for you, always. i loved you with all my heart. my heart is broken because of what happened, yes, i am a bit mad as well, but i guess that is just life. however, i will also cherish the moments when we had the good times, those were golden memories, and in my mind, i never forget a single detail and i'll never truly forget you.

i will also wonder what would have been or what could have happened from today forward. i hope that you will be the best person that you can be, you said that i was wonderful and great. well, i hope you find someone that is more wonderful and more great than i was. i just wished that one person.... would have been me.

i want to say your name but unfortunately, i can't, and i understand, i still care and love you with my heart. perhaps the feelings will fade after a period of time. but i think memories and feelings will be just recalled when i think of you.

please, remember that you, yourself is a great person, no matter what you think of yourself. i know the true, and that was the true - what i just said. you have been nothing good to me. and yes, you cared for me.

today i said a lot of things that were just out of hate, i think you realized that when i apologized to you with tears in my eyes. i never meant to hurt you at all, ever. sometimes people say things that they don't really mean in the heat of the moment, and today, we had a lot of heated moments.

i know this will never probably come true, but perhaps one day, god, buddha, or whatever, will see that we were meant for each other and that, with my fullest heart, i wish that we can be together for reals one day in the future.

you are my only sunshine, the reason that i smile and laugh and cry. i miss you already, i love you still.

if i had one wish, i'd wish that we can make it work again, no bullshit, no games, no nonsense, no distractions, just me and you, in love. but i guess i would have to wait or wish for that to be true everyday. i hope you understand my feelings and that when i say you are a great and good person, that i meant it, truly, meant every single word of it.

with love from his heart,

sam

lying to myself

damn, i think my body is not ready for what is to come but i believe my brain knows is ready for it. or is it the other way around? i see it coming, it's pretty obvious. is it going to be pretty? probably not.

i have certain scenarios that i see in my mind when i picture it happening. but it's probably not going to be anything like what i see.

i think it was time waste. wether or not it was considered long or short by some, it was time wasted.

but in the end i think it was what it was meant to be. didn't have the heart nor the passion for it.

again the question is, what is my passion and where is my heart? somehow, i think i will never know what my passion will be.

i don't think i ever gave much heart into what i'm doing including school and work. this also leads to probably little to no motivation. never motivated at work, well, at least not here in LA because, why bother? which ever way is the wrong way to go about the procedure and i get screwed over when i do right or wrong. why even bother to do anything extra when you are disgruntled yet still get paid the same when having the same amount of energy - zero.

the question now is not why but when.

lakers, douchebag, and life

first and foremost, congratulations to the los angeles lakers for winning their 15th championship as a franchise, 4th championship for kobe bryant and derek fisher, 10th championship for phil jackson as a coach, allowing him to become the winningest coach in nba history with the most rings, and to the rest of the crew, especially lamar odom, and trevor ariza.

dr. buss needs to get the players re-signed and produce a hollywood sequel to be released next june.

so, many of you have probably read my tweets. yes, we have a douchebag in our company. a major douchebag. he is probably the biggest obsticle that i have ever encountered throughout my job career and one of my most hated co-workers to work with. scratch that, he IS the most hated co-worker that i have.

never have i had a problem with any of my co-workers. sure, there were people that i didn't really like around the job, but i never hated any body. this douchebag is a totally different story. once you meet him, you will understand, but until then, i'll just keep ya'll posted with my tweets.


looking forward to the summer. although right now, pretty much stressed about work, but because of the douchebag, but because i'm now in a new position. it's great to do something different and better but that comes with a price. and that price is stress. so much red tape to go through and basically have your hands tied behind your back while trying to get things done is tough. real tough. can't imagine the stress that i will have when things get busy.


shout out to my buddy gary ta. my boy from junior high and high school is going to be visiting next weekend. it IS ON. i'm looking forward to all the things we will be doing, even if it will be just for a day.

can't wait for joey to come and visit me in august. it's been a while since i last saw his face and i'm excited already.

going to watch transformers 2 in IMAX next weekend. it's going to be a blast. not because of the movie but because i'll be able to catch up with my friends that i haven't seen in weeks. it's good to catch up with them and just chat and have a meal with them.

all in all, a busy week has come to a close and looking forward to the weekends and hopefully i'll have some time to bust out my new camera and take some photos.

another dump ass episode from my dumb ass co-worker. the saga continues...

i asked my dump mother fuckin' co-worker to try and sell some products, and i said it NICELY in front of another co-worker and this mother fucker FLIPPED OUT!!!! he told me not to treat him like a child and that i shouldn't use words to trick him or force him. exactly words from my mouth was - "do you think you can try and sell?" this man is a retard for sure.

some pics

passed astronomy!

i can't believe i passed the class.

i was in a good mood and didn't have time this whole week to snap some pictures. i so did after i got home. i took these pictures outside my crib and while driving. it was kinda tiring because of the weight of the camera but i guess it's something that i will get use to.

the dumbest mother fucker alive

is my co-worker. let's just call him Bob because i don't want to give out his real name.

this parody is dedicated to him.

it's a parody from the John Michael Montogomery song "I Swear"

i swear
you the dumbest mother fucker alive
i swear
you don't do shit and just watch porn all day
i'll be there
to fuck you up
for the greater good
till death you be
i'll hate you with every single beat of my heart
i swear

needed to blog, just because

okay so first off congrats to the Lakers and the Magics for winning their conference finals and now it's the NBA Finals. i am going to predict that the Lake show wins this in dramatic fashion in 6 games.

bruno on eminem's face was hilarious. but seriously i think sasha should get real, the stunts are getting really.... well, crazy. but it was still really funny. i guess his next movie is going to be another smash hit with law suits inbound his way.

it was a lovely day to wash and wax the car. after a brief rain the car was looking like shit. and since i haven't washed the car in 3 weeks, it was time. in-between washing, i was using UQD (ultimate quick detailer) and california duster to keep my ride looking straight and clean. the whole nine yards this morning. wash, clay, and wax. don't think i need to polish i think. every time i wash my car i find new scratches and swirls on the paint. damn, i guess nothing i can do to keep the car perfect but still trying to maintain it is the key. or else this sweet looking ride will be another crap from point A to B car. can't let that happen. not with the Z.

tomorrow is pay day. i'm going to start cutting back on my expenses. i say that every time and i turn and spend like a mad man. someone kick me in the balls every time i spend so i will learn a lesson. wait, don't. just tell me to stop.

oh and kevin ger, if you are reading this - nuggets were good but LA was the team to beat and they showed it in dominating fashion by laying a 27 point smack down in your face performance in the nugget's own house. embarrassed they should be and they still claim they are the best in the west. what a delusional squad of players. the better team wins in 7 games and the Lake show did proved it in 6 games. nuff said.

getting for test on astronomy and the tip off for the finals on thursday. it's going to be a good game.

Michael Pachter is an idiot

Michael Pachter is an idiot. he believes or predicts that the Wii will actually come out with a HD version in about 2010.

i do not believe this will happen for a very good reason. actually, reasonS.

first the Wii graphically technology is no better than the PS2 did that get your attention? graphical capabilities are very weak for the Wii if we are comparing it to the PS3 and the XBOX 360. it would not be meaningful to play a Wii game that has HD. sure the graphics MIGHT be more clear but the fact of the matter is, it's low polygons! therefore the quality of the image MIGHT be a bit better, but you are still going to be playing a game (or any game) on a very outdated piece of hardware.

i strongly do not believe that Nintendo will actually expect people to eat that the newer Wii will have better graphics. technically false, it's basically outputting at a higher, clearer rate, but the graphics themselves are limited, the poly count is limited, the designs will be limited because of the ram issues, graphics chip, and processing power will also be limited. so with everything limited what in the world is the point of the Wii going HD?

Michael Pachter is a douche that doesn't really know anything. analyst my butt, he's basically thinking out of his ass.

Invidia Q300 Exhaust on 370z

MoMo's nap

twitter updated on Sam I am

twitter is officially taking over the internet. i've just added twitter updates on blogger. is going to be a wild ride after this.

dodo super cute puppy at 6 months

god i hpe this work

wtf moment last night

okay so richard told me randy was a rapper. and i think i laughed my ASS OFF for like a good 10 mins, it also made a drool, and i think i peed my paints a bit because of the fact of randy rapping. it's always too funny that he was rapping about eat ice cream and getting a headache. but i couldn't really understand his chinese.

my dream watch

this is the watch that i will get and i will be a happy camper for life. the Omega Speedmaster 125. only 2000 of these are made and they were offered in 1972!!!!! crazy watch. it's old school, which is the style that i like. nothing in the world can compare to this watch. looks very special. the look might not be appealing to you, but it will definitely grow on you.

dontations are now being accepted. lol. 2k for the watch. another 1k to get it fully restored.

here is some pics of the beauty.

Seiko SBPP001

new watch just came in. pics are below. Seiko SBPP001 from Japan only. had to import this sucker over here!

new car + old friend + new friend + home party + liquor + beer + food + yack + hangover = fun ass weekend

did anyone say

RICE PORRIDGE????

okay, i haven't blogged in a while. got to see gary ta over the weekend. mofo came down to socal for the weekend. kick ass time. what, did anyone say RICE PORRIDGE????

haha okay. anyways, got to meet some new people, which is always kick ass. we all pretty much got fucked up. EDC in 2 months and i'll see this motherfucker again, which will be another moment to be remembered. i'm bringing my camera next time. special thanks to steven for letting us kick it at his place after the party and making us breakfast. and to max, who has now got me hooked on rice porridge!

and more pics of my ride. enjoy.

2009 Nissan 370Z Touring Platinum Graphite Color 7AT

Pictures of my new ride -

another reason why we waste money

okay here is the article title - Study: Cleaner air equals longer life

what in the flying-blue-fuck is this? it's like saying if you don't breathe in second hand smoke, you will live longer. is it me or is this shit common sense?

i can't believe scientists are *paid to do research like this.

every god damn scientist in this world should be force to find a cure for cancer and aids and all the other diseases. what a waste of money.

U.S. health care is whacked

okay so i need some foot orthotics for my feet. but my freakin' insurance has denied the claim. so wtf? i'm paying for my insurance and i can't even get covered. so right now i have to talk with my doctors and get them to help me out. otherwise, i would have to appeal to the insurance company and see where that takes me.

i'm doing this despite the fact that i am like 80% sure of what the outcome would be. and you, those reading, probably do too.

addicted to Frogskins

okay, for some reason i'm freakin' addicted to the Oakley Frogskins.

i don't know how many i'm going to get in the end but so far i have complied two -

ultimate clutch moment

this is what we call the ultimate clutch player, perhaps in history. it's not a 3 point shot at the end of regulation, or a NFL touchdown pass that wins the game. hell no. this is what we call, the ultimate clutch moment and play in history, so far.

a pilot saves about 155 passengers by landing a plane in the Hudson River in New York city. he guided the plane down, with the engines blown out, into the water. the most important thing is, it could have been a fatal accident, but the pilot was in the clutch and saved everyone. every body on that plane walked.

man's game!

circuit city update

LINK

alright people. read the article. circuity city will begin liquidating it's assets. can someone say - "hell yeah!!!" for the consumers who want to get stuff cheap? things will probably look incredibly cheap in the coming months at circuit city.

give it up for lamar odom.

LO - you are now one of my favorite basketball players of all time.

i know you got skills and ball like a true nba baller, but damn, you make the game fun. or i should say - funny.



this one(the one above) was one of your best highlights. and it cracked me up like 50 times, which was also the same amount of times i watched this one clip alone.

and how about this one below?



this was a miracle play and also, one of the funniest moments i've witnessed in my 24 years of life.

and how about this one?



this one kinda of made me mad, but then i thought of the 2 other clips and i laughed it off.

give it for lamar odom. you are one funny basketball player. and don't worry. kick ass and give us a championship. you too, kobe.

another reason why people are just stupid

i believe we are the worst type of animals in the world. at least on earth.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090113/ap_on_re_au_an/as_australia_rabbit_infestation

just another example of how we can be the smartest animals on earth and yet the dumbest at the same time.

i'm out.

also watched Sicko during the weekend

this film amazes me. i can not believe that other countries, like 3rd world countries like Cuba has free (freakin') health care for everybody.

this is crazy. i know that the film is probably biased towards the american health system but DAMN. wtf. like, wtf, period.

i think the united states is just one big ass corporate entity which is corrupted to its bones. universal health care is free in canada, why can't we have it here?

the reason i'm thinking about this is because i'm probably going into a major surgery soon, and i don't want to end up with a medical bill. the film has given me a picture of what could happen. i'm not sure if it is likely to happen, but damn, if it does, that's freakin' scary and fucked up.

it's crazy i tell you, crazy.

movie matching weekend

alright. so i stumbled upon a website - watch-movies.net and frankly, i'm freakin' hooked.

so after getting shit down with work, i was on the website all saturday and sunday. it was just one of those days where it was freakin' cold in my house and i felt like doing nothing but be entertained in front of my laptop.

here is a list of all the movies i've watched -

tropic thunder
pineapple express
knocked up
the foot fist way
the 40 year old virgin

yeah, that's right. all freakin' comedies. and it was awesome.

so i totally forgot about tropic thunder. i was going to watch it with someone but, for some weird, odd, reason, that person didn't want to watch it.

bad move. i wish i watched it in the theaters. because it was one of the most hilarious movie i've ever witnessed in my life.

ben stiller's comedy is either hit or miss for me. well, it was a big hit. like square in the chin, the nose, and in the eyes. it was hurting, the sides of my stomach, from all the god damn laughing.

two words - tom (FREAKIN') cruise. les grossman. his acts, i believe, stole the show. downey jr. was very good and very funny. but for a comedy, les grossman aka tom cruise was the funniest character in the movie. no question about it.

if you haven't seen the movie, below is what you only really need to watch -



this is the best part -



LMFAO