good time and bad days

to that person -

first of all i just want to say that for the past 3 years or so, you have been my world. i really cared about you and your life. i wanted to be the person that made you smile and the person that you can talk to when times are tough and rough. i guess those days are over. today was one of the happiest and sadist days of my life, because today was the day that i got to hang out with you and it was also the day that we laugh, cried, and got mad and angry at each other.

i never knew what you had on your mind and i know that sometimes, you felt some pressure from me. and for that i'm truly sorry. sorry to have you feel that way and sorry that i should have known better.

i just want to say that for the 3 years that we've been together, it was a blast, it was fun, it was surreal. i wish today never happened, but i also wished today had happen because it was the only way for the two of us to move on with our lives.

i just want to let you know that in my heart, there is a place for you, always. i loved you with all my heart. my heart is broken because of what happened, yes, i am a bit mad as well, but i guess that is just life. however, i will also cherish the moments when we had the good times, those were golden memories, and in my mind, i never forget a single detail and i'll never truly forget you.

i will also wonder what would have been or what could have happened from today forward. i hope that you will be the best person that you can be, you said that i was wonderful and great. well, i hope you find someone that is more wonderful and more great than i was. i just wished that one person.... would have been me.

i want to say your name but unfortunately, i can't, and i understand, i still care and love you with my heart. perhaps the feelings will fade after a period of time. but i think memories and feelings will be just recalled when i think of you.

please, remember that you, yourself is a great person, no matter what you think of yourself. i know the true, and that was the true - what i just said. you have been nothing good to me. and yes, you cared for me.

today i said a lot of things that were just out of hate, i think you realized that when i apologized to you with tears in my eyes. i never meant to hurt you at all, ever. sometimes people say things that they don't really mean in the heat of the moment, and today, we had a lot of heated moments.

i know this will never probably come true, but perhaps one day, god, buddha, or whatever, will see that we were meant for each other and that, with my fullest heart, i wish that we can be together for reals one day in the future.

you are my only sunshine, the reason that i smile and laugh and cry. i miss you already, i love you still.

if i had one wish, i'd wish that we can make it work again, no bullshit, no games, no nonsense, no distractions, just me and you, in love. but i guess i would have to wait or wish for that to be true everyday. i hope you understand my feelings and that when i say you are a great and good person, that i meant it, truly, meant every single word of it.

with love from his heart,

sam