damn, i think my body is not ready for what is to come but i believe my brain knows is ready for it. or is it the other way around? i see it coming, it's pretty obvious. is it going to be pretty? probably not.
i have certain scenarios that i see in my mind when i picture it happening. but it's probably not going to be anything like what i see.
i think it was time waste. wether or not it was considered long or short by some, it was time wasted.
but in the end i think it was what it was meant to be. didn't have the heart nor the passion for it.
again the question is, what is my passion and where is my heart? somehow, i think i will never know what my passion will be.
i don't think i ever gave much heart into what i'm doing including school and work. this also leads to probably little to no motivation. never motivated at work, well, at least not here in LA because, why bother? which ever way is the wrong way to go about the procedure and i get screwed over when i do right or wrong. why even bother to do anything extra when you are disgruntled yet still get paid the same when having the same amount of energy - zero.
the question now is not why but when.
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